[2 March, 2008. South Sudan]
there is this space in me
just small enough
that i cannot reach or
understand or
destroy
barely, but it is
and just warm enough
just soft enough
just small enough
and when i feel like this:
my doubt and fear are tossing
and swallowing and stealing
and slapping my face with wave
after wave and my eyes are
captured by the high places
I clung to before and my words
to myself are that He couldn't possibly
save
or Love
and I have given myself to my drowning
still there is a space in me
just warm enough
just soft enough
just small enough
and He sees.
and as I choke on salty waves
and tears and disbelief
and my hair is tangled and
matted with hopelessness
that small space calls to Him
and waits
In His heart is a seed
and this space in me is
just warm enough
just soft enough
just small enough.
He calls me 'steadfast'
(though I am not)
and plants a seed,
just small enough for me.
just small enough that I cannot reach
or understand
or destroy.
but sometimes I can feel it grow.
there is this space in me
just small enough
that i cannot reach or
understand or
destroy
barely, but it is
and just warm enough
just soft enough
just small enough
and when i feel like this:
my doubt and fear are tossing
and swallowing and stealing
and slapping my face with wave
after wave and my eyes are
captured by the high places
I clung to before and my words
to myself are that He couldn't possibly
save
or Love
and I have given myself to my drowning
still there is a space in me
just warm enough
just soft enough
just small enough
and He sees.
and as I choke on salty waves
and tears and disbelief
and my hair is tangled and
matted with hopelessness
that small space calls to Him
and waits
In His heart is a seed
and this space in me is
just warm enough
just soft enough
just small enough.
He calls me 'steadfast'
(though I am not)
and plants a seed,
just small enough for me.
just small enough that I cannot reach
or understand
or destroy.
but sometimes I can feel it grow.
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