Monday, January 30, 2012

I get by with a little help from my friends

Today was the first day of school for me. My teachers were a toddler and a newborn, my classes much more challenging than I was prepared for. There was some crying. There was a small bathtub in our courtyard and a boy who did everything but play in the water, the baby was surprisingly fussy, hurting it seemed, the world outside suddenly too much. I think she wanted to go back, but it's too late. I carried her around as she cried, trying to comfort her while my son followed me, wanting "up" which he almost always wants if you are standing up or holding another baby. I disappointed them both a few times. But now they sleep and forget it all, the night bringing a gentle insomnia that forgives mothers who know not what to do. Washing the dishes was a relief rather than a chore. The sky settled into the evening with oceans of comforting clouds and I remembered God is still here. We made it and we will again tomorrow.

This is my first week "alone" with my children, three weeks old and almost 18 months. But I shouldn't even say that because I never am. I have really good friends who came to sit with me in my life, like my older neighbors in their undershirts who sit together on milk crates and have a "yarn". Except there wasn't a lot of sitting but they did hold my daughter so I could care for my son, or distract my son so I could care for my daughter. All this week I know I can send a text and help will come, mostly with good company in the chaos which is really what we all want anyway. They remind me that God is here.

1 comment:

  1. How are things now that the cavalry has arrived? Very beautiful post, dear. I love you so much.
    Dad

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