Wednesday, January 30, 2013

my thoughts on weaning, at least for today.

frustrated to my bones
i shout at him, even though
anger is not a lullaby
and the goal was sleep.

his emotions are big
my self-control small,
a new season snuck up on
both of us, this jet-lag still.

i am 30
he is 2.

(one of us should know better)

but neither of us will stand down,
two wills stubborn enough to hold
peace hostage for a good long time.

finally, i relent.

i say "sorry for yelling".  he forgives.
of course he does.

an hour later, the baby's sleeping and i take him
to the couch,
growing boy and tired mama.
I offer milk and we are one again,
reconciled, in-arms, as it should be.

as much as i want to close the
nursing chapter with my boy,
i don't think either of us is ready
for that.  at least not today.

How do you handle anger and frustration in parenting?  What does reconciliation look like for you?  


  1. My frustration usually comes out with angry eyes and yelling. My reconciliation usually comes out with an apology and I try to make them laugh (I have three children ages 8,6 and 2 ~ all three years apart). Last time I got really angry at my daughter when I went into her room to apologies for my ridiculousness I told her I deserved a spanking. She looked shocked and when I told her she needed to administer it she told me she would never do that to me (which meant my apology was sincere enough)because she knew how it would make me feel and we ended up laughing. I have huge issues with controlling my anger. More and more I am realizing that it is a secondary emotion and that I am reacting out of rejection, exhaustion or confusion or SOMETHING. It is a poor coverup but I'm still using it. I so hope that sooner than soon I will grow up :) and be the change I want to see in my children ~ to lead them to the heart of the Father. Hope you can keep on ~ taking it one day at a time ~ and may the beautiful moments wash away the hard ones. My two year old is weaned and she wanted too. However she is always wanting to be snuggling on my tummy (she pulls up my shirt and nestles her head on my tummy) and I feel like she weaned too soon. So I hope that as you feel weak or tired or just DONE ~ that the Holy Spirit will infuse with Strength in whatever way you feel it deepest. Thank you for your beautiful words and your encouragement.

    1. wow, thanks so much for your comment - you are wise! ya, i just recently heard someone say that anger usually covers up another emotion so that's interested that you've written that too. i feel like i have anger issues too - i have a good amount of self-control (fortunately!!) but still what i feel in my heart a lot of the time is quite disappointing. i think i need to be asking God what the underlying emotion/wound is too. thanks for sharing!

  2. Tickling is magic for reconciliation after an apology.